but in it’s absence my heart is quieter still
i’m living in rainclouds. they’re filling up my chest.
here’s an appropriate rhyme: UNREST UNREST
i’d wish they’d just rain
but my insides are dry
i told the t.v. to shut up with it’s “fix it quick” cry
and yet it’s THE SILENCE. it’s THE SILENCE i’m fighting.
the clouds have cottonballed my heart. made it thick. and still it smarts.
it was pumping fast and free just weeks ago
floating out of reach just weeks ago
it tried to come down when the clouds came in
tried to come down. instead it’s now caught in.
cottonball clouds refusing to rain. blocking noise. hushing me in.
but i’m stuck with the silence because the t.v.’s too loud
and that tricky sun ISN’T COMING OUT
i used to call him a sun
NOW i’m a cottonball cloud


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