(written sometime ago….junior year in college?)
we scamper after shiny things
fool’s gold, fake diamond rings
with “man” engraved upon our heads
“woman” scrawled across our chests
in the kiln, we shatter
(and tonight, i say)
what’s enough for you tonight? what is going to quench your thirst? will you answer for these choices? are they new or well-rehearsed? you close your eyes in worship, but open them in want….you’re far more than wandering, you’re out for the hunt.
we’ve all been looking grace in the eye and claiming it’s not enough. i personally have been angry tonight, saying God give more, give better, this journey is too rough. but i’ve dropped my fool’s gold in the trash can and all my false gems in the sea. it’s you that i’m worried about, dear. what kind of man are you trying to be?
i’m going to pray for you tonight (the way i’ll always do), but i’m not sure what to ask. you’re going to do what you’re going to do.
so i pray that God blesses you now (i know his ways are not our own), and i pray that when you crash and burn, he’ll be waiting to carry you home. i pray we’ll know how to love you. our mistakes are just as great. and i pray that the pain you keep causing will teach its lesson and abate.
oh foolish child. oh fickle wanderer. i’m still confused. but tonight, oh this night, i promise, i’m earnestl praying for you.